Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Life outside Zion

Recently my family went on a trip to Wyoming to visit my hubby's relatives. First let me warn you that my husband is a convert and comes from a family of gentiles. This was the first time I had ever been to Wyoming, and I can tell you, I will never venture there again if I can help it. Satin has a tremendous strangle hold on those poor lost souls that are longing for the truth. As it happens, I kept my digital camera with me at all times, took some pictures.

Here is a picture of your typical Wyomingite taken at the lake:



Even the public transportation is full of drug addicts and users:



Why, I was walking downtown on my way to the market to get some chocolate chip cookie ingredients, and was accosted by several men under the influence of the devil, and who smelled of last week's laundry. They kept following me, asking me for a quarter to help them bye a bus ticket to see their mom. I was finally forced to rebuke them by raising my arm to the square. You better believe they went running after that.

Oh brothers and sisters, this just goes to show you how lucky we have it in Zion. We have the truth and we don't need to mask our lives with alcohol and drugs. We can instead, be filled with the spirit of righteousness, manafested by the priesthood. I testify that Joseph Smith restored the truth to this earth and I know this to be true, yea even with every fiber of my being.

If reading this makes you feel the spirit, I invite you to pray with me. Pray that the poor lost souls of Wyoming will one day be sober, and will seek out the true guidance that only the teachings of brother Joseph can provide them. Pray that the true light of Joseph Smith will brighten their lives and guide them back home to our father in heaven. Together we can make a difference. If we pray loud and long enough, our prayers will surely be answered. We can change the face of the country, one state at a time.

In the name of Erastus Snow,

Ramiumptum,

Molly the Mormon

Friday, December 01, 2006

Stand by your Man

This is for the all the married sisters out there. This past Sunday we had the best Relief Society meeting. It was about strengthening the marriage by doing all you can to please your worthy priesthood holder. I just have to share with you what we discussed.

Now, some of you may be thinking that your marriage is not what it used to be, or that there is no hope of rekindling that fire that the 2 of you used to enjoy. Sisters, if you want your marriage to change, you have to take things into your own hands. Simply by doing little things, you can reap big rewards. Here are a few examples of what you can do to make your husband more comfortable and happy, and this will translate into a blissful home and marriage:

1: While he is in the shower, run and place his towel in the dryer to get it nice and warm for him.
2: Place little sunbeam messages in hidden places that he will uncover. I like to unroll the toilet paper and write notes to my man there. Use a seperate roll of toilet paper if necessary to assure he gets the message.
3: When he gets home from a long hard day at work, take off his shoes and give him a foot rub. This could lead to even better things, like a bigger allowance.
4: Make sure he always has clean underwear, folded and sorted in his drawer.
5: Cook his favorite meal at least once a week. If he is late for work, keep it warm for him in the oven and don't eat until he sits down to his meal so he doesn't have to eat alone.
6: Always freshen up right before he comes home so you look your best for him. Make sure your dress is pressed and clean. Change dresses if you need to.
7: Wear his favorite perfume. Put it on right before he walks in the door.
8: Place the sports page by his plate when he comes for breakfast. Only ham and eggs will do for my man.
9: Make sure the kids are playing in the backyard when he comes home so they don't disturb him as he unwinds.
10: Mark on your calendar the days that his favorite sports team plays, and have it turned on waiting for him. My man can't get enough of sports.

Now, there a few excellent suggestions to make your marriage better. If any of you sisters have any great suggestions to add to this list, please feel free to add them here so we can all enjoy them. And if any of you brothers have a suggestion that us wives don't readily see, please tell us how we can make your life easier.

After all, it is the man who carrys all the responsibility for the family. He holds the priesthood, and you can't get into the celestial kingdom without him, so it is in your best interest to make his life as easy as possible.

Let me know how this works.

Ramiumptum,

Molly the Mormon